Yarra-mens group

This blog is in detail so that i can remember a lovely evening and also as a way of saying thanks to the guys who were there as i know most/some/one of them will read it after I am gone

At Pauls front yard I met red faced Dave complete with black boxing boots. He had just come from training. I gave him a feel with the aim of guessing his weight division. I went too low as he revealed he was a heavyweight and i'd said light heavyweight. or cruiserweight...............whereas when guessing womens weight or age of course we men learn to "go low" on purpose but on this occasion i wasn't trying to do that 

Rob the quietly spoken thoughtful man who is a butcher from the river with his tan, strong chin and mini goatee

Alan in shorts and boots hunting and mens group friend of pauls.  Meeting him for first time.

Dylan from 4x4 with his amazing beard and incredible knowledge about bikes/trucks i can only hope to ever get near to

I looked around in amazement at the huge tree house -yes I went for a look and made mental notes for when I get home. Resting beams across rather than drilling into seemed like a good idea.

Iron girder supported out houses 4 times the size of our garage. Housing a boat. A room at the top. And lots more. Once again I marvelled at the size and reflected how small things are sometimes at home in our crowded south eastern UK

A tray with biscuits and mugs sat on top of the bbq as we waited around for people to arrive. I wasnt sure what we would do or where we would go.   Then Paul came out of his front door and explained about wood piles, spot welding, his wifes artistic capabilities ("you need to go through that door over there and upstairs to see...") making the tree house

What about the coffee?. Paul rumbled around in the back of his truck and proudly pulled out a plunger containing old coffee grounds.  Mouldy. Much laughter about penicillin and not experiencing this at other groups.  The conversation was easy and I felt quite at home.

Tim (not the one i drove with) in white shirt, jeans, jawline beard and pony tail arrived.  Continued hugs hands and welcomes as we then went up to "room at the top" as they call it, or 'man cave' was what came to my mind.

Rob started dolling out the drinks and the tim tams, (chocolate coated mini penguin biscuits)

"you been introduced to the Tim Tam Slam guy?"......(Paul)

Nope

well...i had but not by that name...as i'm an office worker and tea is an important part of the day...its sucking hot drink through a chocolate biscuit you have bitten the ends off, in UK think kit kcat.

I looked around and in our wooden, corrugated iron and flurescent light environment were arm chairs, a punch bag and flippy football  (thoughts went back to childhood for a moment squaring off with Toby,....i was always one hand on the goalkeeper kind of guy and no spinning....what were you?)....

Simon, (brother of Dylan), a policeman and suitably clean cut with a fine nose arrived

Slowly the drinks are making it round and almost everyone is arriving so we are just bantering about nothing in particular...  I am helped by the fact that most of the guys know my host family through the  church so nods usually accompany the name "John Fooks".  I have now met more than half of them at least twice before.

Tim (from 4x4) arrives and sits down next to me

Richard (not met him), older fella arrives....he was funny, it seemed my Englishness was amusing to him and he inadvertently digged at It a few times. it was quite endearing and absolutely not an issue in case you are wondering.....at the end after something he finally said 

"You're allright for an Englishman"

my reply was...

'its ok, my mother always taught me that taking the piss was a sign of affection' (with a smile). This got a bit of a laugh and then on we went

So we carried on chatting and conversation covered such high brow issues such as 

'How to fire a lemon out of a plastic pipe using gas and a spark'.....of course you tube evidence was promptly presented by Simon (a policeman remember) to show me how it works.....when there was no sound on he took the phone back fixed the sound and came back 

"you absolutely have to watch this with the sound on"

  Tim (4x4) helpfully gave me an indication of the potential range of such a fun toy by saying that it could be fired from Johns back yard to his lake at the top of his property, (quite a way)

After that it was "cane toads" , the food chain in which they exist, predators etc, and how to shoot them and how Paul and his parents used to race each other to run them over when in a different part of australia on holiday.  As my only reference of toads is something someone has just been turned into after a making spell, from Rowan and Esmes halloween story book.... or something like a frog this is what i had in mind as the tales were being told...

Seems like  fun sitting here.....I really am in the bosom of rural christian australia with a group of guys (who happen to all be white) connected by their love of Jesus, love of doing silly things, love of the outdoors and love for fellow man...or should i say love of fellow men....ie males, blokes, pals, friends, mates.  Its all very natural even if at times they use slang or name an animal i've not heard of but that does'nt matter. It feels warm and i'm loving being here.  Realising I need to be part of a mens group when i get back home

Alan has a book "why men hate going to church" by Murrow.   This group is a small attempt to encourage men to be men and not feel ashamed about it.    Hence the overall chatting about lemon rockets and toads is (I realised half way through when Paul spoke about it) perhaps as important as looking at the bible and talking about Jesus Christ and the holy spirit.

One of the guys spoke about how when he had his fathers hands laid on him in prayer how he felt the holy spirit in him and how it was an enjoyable feeling and how he felt woozy on the way to the car afterwards.  Conversation then focussed on how to not get attracted to that on its own, but that it was the manifestation of something else.  I reflected privately on my own similar experiences that i'd had outside of a religious context but now wasn't really the right place or time enough to go into that. But it was interesting for me to note a similarity between in and out of religion ie the 'experience' was similar however it was framed/caused/explained/understood

 https://www.dropbox.com/sc/fkwrvitvmoh1oc3/Q5-UZANYzY

Video of Paul talking about some of his past...more to give you a flavour for the conversation and the room

We then read some parts of Galations and Daniel as time was getting on as well.  

Before i came on this trip I asked for some sort of spiritual shift during it and I can feel stuff moving for me now (Sarah and I and Esme and Rowan went along to the vineyard church the previous Sunday and the kids enjoyed moving flags and I got very emotional when Paul came up to me at the end).

During this evening with the guys however during prayer Paul gave the example of the ember that has fallen out of the fire, no immediate impact but over time its warmth begins to fade.  When it is put back into the fire then it warms up quickly, starts glowing red and then catches fire again.

In counselling speak i have had some life altering unforgettable transpersonal peak experiences in my past 8 years and felt great community during those, and felt like I could take on the world for a long time afterwards (this is why my work mates thing i'm a bit odd and alternative, but thats ok).   But then over time like the ember my zest began to fade and it began to feel like something was missing. Call it community or call it fellowship call it love, call it the warmth of fellow man.  Raising the kids with Sarah on our own pretty much has been tough. Not having parents to silently fall back on or imagine they are there or to feel like a child again has been tough.  

So after the church service on Sunday when Paul came up to me, its not often a physically bigger man offers to take me in his arms and speak to me specifically, but I was emotional putty from that point onwards. So stuff moved for me in a religious context this time. 

So now as someone who has spent his life in and round christianity through the Bishops, my parents later confirmation when I was in my teens  and doing a 'y' course and and 'alpha' course....and saying 'its not for me for xxx reasons' I now find my spiritual emotional community, male tank being filled up by this group of guys I am now sitting around chatting with, and the 4x4 I went on the previous saturday and the church on Sunday.   I've only been here for ten days but one of them echoed my thoughts when they said "i feel like i've known you for longer than this short amount of time Guy".  So lots has been stirred up and lots now on my agenda for the rest of this trip and when we get back to Oxford.  How are mens groups and churches in Oxford I'm wondering all over again....

back to the meeting......as time was getting on several had to leave until only 5 of us remained, where we prayed and shared some more of our current inner stuff, before mickey taking Richard gave me a lift back to my homestay house.

Thanks each one of the guys for a moving and touching and fun evening and its something i wont forget easily and will treasure in my heart going forwards

Much Love

Guy

xxx